Insightful Rantings

We are back home!

In the plane, I told T, I couldn't decide which was worst - Egypt or Vietnam. I couldn't wait to leave Egypt but I wasn't exactly jumping about going back to Vietnam either.

Still, nothing beats being home - my space, my things, my bed, my schedule, my timing, my life.

This trip has been insightful - I saw and realised a lot of things (most of which I waited for T to see for himself before I told him how I felt and then of cos, he also read my blog and started plagarising my words).

- about his family putting their own agendas and schedules first and us having to suit their timing more than feeling like they took time off to "cater" to our "holiday"

- about the family pressurising and putting us on a guilt trip about moving to Cairo but not doing anything to make us feel like we really should

- about how their good intentions may be there but things aren't always delivered as promised (which gives us a doubt about our future if we were to ever decide about moving back)

- about his best friend having too much pride, wanting to be more than he is and can ever be and not having any backbone to make decisions and stand up for himself
(the wedding is prob the most last minute and disorganised I've ever heard of. The week before the big day, debate was still going on about whether to call off the wedding. Nothing else has been done until then - the wedding planner who hasnt been doing anything was sacked 3 days before the wedding and they still had no caterer!

- about how I can never be happy there because I'm not into social scenes or late nights. If I was unhappy about T going out once a week here in Vietnam, I can forget about having my husband home at night. Life starts after 10pm (I find the pace there very slow. People wake up at whatever time they like, "work" at their own time). He will have his family n friends there and he will find himself being invited out every other night. And because they are all HIS family, no one will understand or be on my side.

- about how unfairly T is treated. Not that it bothers T or myself. I'm glad that he din grow up with a silver spoon (although he was definitely spoiled by his mom) - we work hard for the things we have and never depend on others.

Basically, his sisters get everything they ask for (maybe cos they have their mom to fight for them). e.g. Hana got a 2ct diamond for her engagement n Heba got one too just because she din want to be "left out".

On the other hand, Dad has always been tight with T and at the same time, T never asked his dad for anything.

- Dad never came to Vietnam to visit his grandson (from the time that he was born) and this trip when we went back, he never even bought or gave anything to Ray (except 1 baby top & pants that he had from his old clothing collection when he had a baby shop)

- And when I asked him if he was going to keep his word about coming to Vietnam for Ray's 1st birthday (he made a promise with T during our wedding. T was to go back once or twice a yr and Dad would make a trip out here once a year. We've been married 2 yrs, he hasn't been here once), he made some excuses about being busy with work.

- He gave me a "present for having the baby" the day before we left. It was some old piece of jewelry. Basically, it was not nice at all. And when I showed it to T, he opened it and went "that is disgusting! We should give it back to him because you are never going to use it. And trust me, he din go out to buy it for you. It was something he had lying around at home." DUH - Of cos I know that. But what can I say except "thank you"?

So on another note, if T does go back to work for his dad... guess who is going to be slogging n slaving away to provide for the family and the sisters? Dad is getting old ... and that is where "my only son" suddenly comes in handy.

(NO DISRESPECT intended... just laying out the facts)

During this trip, we also had a couple of "FIRSTS". Rayhan fell sick for the FIRST TIME (fever, running nose and cough). We went for our FIRST holiday (just the 3 of us) to the beach (even if it was only for 3 days). And we had our FIRST fight in the 5 years that we've been together.

The fight was physical only in the sense that I packed my suitcase and was going to leave. I had enough. I never once raised my voice. I din end up leaving (it wouldnt be respectful to his family nor smart finding my way around in the middle of the night with Ray in an unknown country).

He apologised the next day ... but having seen how his family put their own agendas first and how T is in fact very similar to them in that aspect, I really wonder how long it'll be before the same story happens again.

Like I said, it has been a super LONG 2 weeks!