Something's Brewing

Either I am seriously trying to find fault or I’m starting to get bad vibes… about the maid.
(You must be surprised cos apart from losing the dogs, I haven’t had a single complaint about her so far).

Well, she is still very good at her work – cleans and cooks very well, takes initiative, manages the household e.g. chores, buying groceries, paying the bills, dealing with the handymen to repair anything at home etc. She’s very good in the sense that she pays for things first and keeps a clear account of what she spends on a daily basis.

In addition, she’s also taken to preparing the daily meals for Rayhan and feeding him while I have my meals at the same time.

BUT … she is starting to get on my nerves. At first I thought it stemmed from my own separation issues from the boy.

Now I realize it’s mostly because she is becoming too familiar. She talks so loudly. As soon as I walk down, she starts going on and on. Many times I had to tell her to talk softly – hey, I’m right beside you! She enjoys talking to me especially when I am eating, even when I am sitting with Tarek, family and friends. Either she doesn’t have any manners/respect or she simply doesn’t know her place.

Right in the middle of my conversation with T over dinner yesterday, she kept going “Joanne, look look” (the baby was resisting sitting down and this is of cos not the first time it happened. In fact, it happens ALL the time so I don’t know what her deal is for always trying to get our attention and interrupting us). T got fed up and said “Joanne is talking!”

I think about my ex-maid Hwa and my current Filipino maid in Singapore, plus many of the other Filipino nannies I know here. Most of them tend to become too familiar after a while… And I believe the fault lies with the employer.

I hate to say this, I always wanted a clear Employer-Employee relationship but tend to build up friendship only because we spend all day together every day… you just can’t help talking/chatting occasionally (even as much as I stay in the room most of the time).

Her favorite word is “sao” (why) – “biet sao, tai sao, sao this and sao that”. Almost every sentence starts with a “sao”. And it bloody annoys us. T has taken to saying “Tai sao hoi tai sao?” (Why ask why). I have started to ignore/pretend I din hear or just reply with a “dunno”.

Lately, I have been seriously wondering if she would be the right person to take care of my baby. Maybe I should get a separate nanny but that would be extravagant… I only require someone to take over for a couple of hours at times when I need to run out quickly… AND maybe one day I hope to be able to hand over the baby and catch a 4hr stretch sleep without interruption (I tried once but I ended up thinking about baby more than being able to sleep and gave up after 30mins).

I’m not the only one getting bad vibes from her.

I feel that Seeta felt it too while she was here and even yesterday when I took the maid out with us (cos Ray is sick) to Angelo and Nitya for a quick farewell get-together, everyone, including Angelo (a guy), was hinting she is not right or that I should change a nanny.
Angelo: "Yo man, I dun usually bitch abt nannies but yours is a funny one. I mean, you pay her to help you and make your life easier right?"

- Madam High & Mighty had the guts to complain it was hot at the house and when I asked her to carry the baby and sit in the corner, she asked me "where’s the chair" (there is no furniture left in the house cos everything has been packed and sent). We all had no problems sitting on the floor, only she complained it was dirty!

- On several occasions (yesterday @ their house and even at home), baby is crying, she doesn’t do anything to pacify him e.g. walk him around, talk to him. Until all my friends got uncomfortable, felt sorry and had to take the baby from her.
(of cos all I needed to do was take the baby fr her, but I wanted to see how she handles the situation and not let her take for granted that I will always take over the baby)

- Once I was on the computer and baby was crying for me while she was sitting with him, she just kept shouting “Joanne!” until I said, “Carry the baby and do something. Are you going to let him cry the whole time?”

No doubt, she must be tired with the housework or stressing cos she is one that follows her routine, hates to divert or worries about not being able to finish her work – I understand all that. And I am trying to explain to her that priority goes to taking care of the baby, it’s ok if she can’t finish the housework that day. After all, it’s not always that I ask her to help with the baby.

The moral of this very long story is… I’m beginning to feel she is not right for taking care of the baby. But at the same time, I don’t see the need for a nanny. Is it time for her to go? Or do I remain status quo and have no help with the baby?