Pregnancy Rantings

This is an ungrateful blog entry. I know people are just concerned about me and it's part of the pregnancy experience - to get advice from left, right, center (even if they are unwanted). But I need an outlet to rant and so the story goes.

Mum has been going on and on (I mean on and on) about the following:
- baby's citizenship
she listens to everyone around her, especially those aunties who dont know fact from hearsay and believes that my baby will be stateless just because he will be born in a third world country. After countless of nags from her and reassurance from my part, I finally called up the Consulates here and gave her full facts and proof that my baby will not be stateless! Anyways, he will follow the father and be a British although I will apply for dual citizenship until he is 18 yrs of age.

I mean, I have expat frens here and there are loads of expats who give birth here all the time, their babies are not stateless, are they?

And even after that, she hasnt stopped. But if baby is British, then u shld get British too, else you wont be able to be in the same country as your child. Oh, there is a time frame .. once u pass that, they wont accept anymore and your child wont be able to apply for citizenship. blah blah.

Honestly, do u seriously think that as a mother, I am not going to get this sorted out? I already assured her I got all the details now and will get watever paper work I can get done now so that as soon as the baby is born, T will bring the papers to the Justice Dept to get the process sorted out.

Also, his family has been stressing for me to deliver in the UK. The new British laws states that while my son will be British, like his dad, my son's children will not automatically be British if my son was not born in the UK.

And then, there is the circumcism issue also - they dont practice it here in Vietnam until the child is 1 yr old. His parents say it should be done immediately at birth - "that's why you should deliver here in the UK!"

- Painting the room
Given, it is Ah Ma that started this frenzy when I told her I was going to do up the nursery and paint the room. According to Chinese superstitions, one should not paint the room for fear of giving the child a birth mark. Upon hearing fr my grandma, she went and spoke to another AUNTY who confirmed it and she started stressing me out as well.

I told her I would take precaution and let T or the maid supervise. Best, she said I should not even be in the house - cos it might still bring birthmarks. It's better to paint after the baby is born, or not at all. (As a Catholic, shouldn't we say these are all God given rather than ... because I painted the room so I gave my baby a birthmark?)

Technically, painting should be avoided because of the fumes which is not good for the pregnant mother or the baby. And since I am still going ahead with the painting, it's better to do it now, get the room aired out before the baby is born - just have to stay out of the way and avoid breathing in the fumes.


- take Vitamin C to immunise against H1N1
I already told her I am eating vitamins as prescribed by the gynae. She kept insisting on getting Vit C for me to take even though I told her I'm taking a lot of pills right now and Doc even told me to stop the pre-natal vitamins until I am done with the batch of magnesium that he's given me. It's not good to overload on vitamins plus it's harder to digest with the pregnancy.

She still insisted - Are you the doctor or should I listen to the real doctor's advice?

In the first place, does taking Vitamin C really prevent u from getting h1n1?

- Eat healthily
No mom, I'm eating crap everyday. If you are really concern, why dont you send some bird nests my way?

Sometimes I wonder why Asian culture is soooo negative. I know it's all said out of concern but it comes out very negatively - almost making me feel like a complete idiot who dont know how to think or take care of myself.

I told her recently, when we told his folks I was pregnant, everyone was congratulating us (his mom had tears and practically finished 2 bottles of wine on her own to celebrate). On my end, I did not receive a word of "congrats" ... instead it was instantly negative - Make sure you dont do this and dont do that. Argh.

And see, when we found out abt the sex of the baby, T called his folks and I could hear them cheering so loudly from the phone. I turned to T and said, who should I call? It's not like they will have any reaction - Dad and Grandma went "ok" and Mum was the best, she was like, "Are you sure?! How do u know?" zzzz

Wouldnt it be nice to hear - "hw are you and baby doing? hope you are eating well. big hugs n kisses". Or "do you need me to send anything to you"?
Wouldn't action speak louder than words?

Ok. Grandma is another one... she keeps saying she is so worried abt me being here alone and I've practically begged her to come for a visit when Dad comes tomoro cos I am bored to death here. All I got is a bunch of excuses and no visit.

Still, I suppose that at least she gives constructive advice rather than the factless and unfounded worries that my mom cooks up.