Good Intentions, Poor Execution

My baby is sick! For the first time ever!

Naturally I am concerned and worried - it doesn't help that I'm in a foreign land and don't know where to go or what to do. The "best" thing is, I am ALONE tending to him - waiting for the doctor to call for the last 4 hrs!

Everyone else, including the baby's own father, is out (except for A. Najia who is in her room somewhere). It's almost like nobody realises or cares.

As you can see, T got his bo-chap genes fr his family. His son is sick for the first time, and he's going to be out all day n has no plans to be home till late (he got another appt at home at 9pm!). On top of that, he's even trying to convince me to go over to Hana's (maybe to lessen his guilt). My reply was, "what kind of a mother would I be if I drag my sick son out just so I dont feel stuck at home?" I think he's totally oblivious to his son's suffering.

You would never hear of this in my family. Maybe my family is over-kancheong but they will be all over the baby (sometimes stressing me more with their concern, sometimes offering too many unwanted advice). It's times like this when I am ever so grateful for my folks. It's a stark contrast and as much as it is rude (and disrespectful), I can't help comparing.

NOTE: Before you read any further, please note that the following content SHOULD NEVER get to my in-laws. If there's anything to be said, it has to be from their son/brother. I am and will always be the outsider and it will do me no good to be heard saying these things.

His family has been trying to convince us to move here. Ironically, being here has convinced us otherwise. Whatever they are doing (and not doing) is giving the exact opposite effect. I told T that without being disrespectful, whatever doubt I had about whether it will be the right thing to do to move back and be with his family has been erased (even though I changed my impression of Cairo after seeing Maadi).

Even T agrees that their intentions are there but execution is not there.

Cairo is just like Vietnam. My in-laws are like the upper-class (super rich) Vietnamese and his sisters are the Viet-kieu (born and raised overseas).

- language barrier
- dirty, polluted streets
- poverty everywhere
- darn bloody depressing (everything is brown becos of the desert!)

- no proper shops (like I said before, only 1 decent shopping mall)

- diaper, formula (T made a fuss abt me bringing baby things here, saying that this is not kampong! Indeed, he should bow down to me cos this is truly a kampong! They dont carry many choices of formula - definitely not the one that Rayhan's been taking and I'm afraid he won't take anything else. Pampers (the brand) here is HORRIBLE. I threw it out as soon as I opened the packet. It's a good thing Sharon (the Hong Kong girl) helped me out - Molfix diapers & Aptamil formula works for us!

- social life (life starts after 11pm until sunrise. Dinner is served after 10pm. Long after my bedtime. I'm also not into the high-life and don't care for hypocritical friends who judge you based on what (brands) you carry and how you can improve their social status in the circle)

- dad n family's agendas (everyone is busy with their own stuff - work, entertaining, friends etc.)

Personally
- I feel confined here. Stuck. Like I need someone to babysit me, take me around. Because of unfamiliarity and language barrier, I find myself unable to get up and go as I please (like in Vietnam). I am always having to wait - for someone to take me out, for someone to help me translate, for someone to help me give instruction to the maid/driver etc.

One thing that I've changed since my solitude in Vietnam.... I have become (more) independent. I hate to wait around for people. Most of all, I hate to depend on people.

At the end of the day, they are great. But it's better to stay status quo. I'm happy with our way of life, even as much as I hate Vietnam.

Another difference is, when we go back in Singapore, my folks actually take time off work to be there for us. With his folks, they carry on with their daily life (even though they go on and on about how much they miss us).

No ill thoughts intended. I love this family. I just suppose every family is different. I am as kan cheong as my folks and T is as relaxed (and uninvolved) as his. We become what we are exposed to.