PMS-ing

I must be PMS-ing... it's that time of the month... it's also that time of the month where I get fed up of my life and want to pack up.

It's always the same old problem - the husband is never around. The month after we came back from Cairo, after my last fit, things went really well. He promised to make an effort and he kept to his word.

As soon as I am gone to Singapore (earlier this month), his true nature comes up again. He partied really hard while I was gone and as soon as we came back, he's busy with work, busy with customers, busy with football, busy with going out to party with his friends again. And he's never there for me and the baby.

Ray's always happy to see him when he comes home ... but then Daddy simply goes "hi baby" and rushes to have a quick shower and then out again... leaving Ray crying for him every time it happens this week.

And I need a break some times too. He has total disregard for my feelings... he takes me for granted and he doesnt give me any support.

Honestly, I often wondered what I am doing here. He doesnt need us. We definitely don't need him (seeing that I'm the one raising the kid single-handedly). I don't want to be here and I really don't need to be here either.

Isn't it better if I were to live in Spore - where I have the support of family and friends...? We could come back over the weekends, that is, if he is not too busy partying with his friends.

I don't think his friends realise that he is a father, everyone, including my dear cousin Gabriel, is always calling him out to drink. They are all just waiting, especially my own husband, for the wife to go away so that Tarek can come out and party.

PS: I don't usually like to blog this. I hate to wash my dirty linen outside. BUT I need a channel to vent it out... and maybe it might come as a surprise... my life is not all that glamorous at all.