Wednesday, February 24, 2010

LOSS

I'm deeply troubled - and if you are reading this blog now, whoever you may be, I would appreciate any feedback from you.

It's abt the dogs and the maid.

Every time I think abt it, my heart becomes heavy. I've kinda resigned myself to the fact that they wont be coming back but it's still sad to think about not seeing them again. I know Tarek is also very upset.

I genuinely believe it's human error/carelessness on the maid's part.

But still one can't help but to blame her - How could she not have seen? and how can she not be more careful after it has already happened once? Most of all, I'm pissed with her because I left 2 specific instructions while I was leaving the door - do not let anyone into the house. And call us if anything happens. Both of which fell on deaf ears.

She lost 2 members of our family. Even if I can forgive, I can't forget. I can't look at her without thinking about the dogs. Moreover, how can I trust her now with the baby?

Based on these alone, everyone's first thoughts must be ... "Why the hell are u still keeping her?".

Because I need someone around to cook for me, clean and wash baby's stuff. And if she hadn't fucked up on this, she had been the perfect maid. It took so long to find the right one and I can trust her with everything (except the dogs apparently!). It's been me and her alone at home since Ray came along and I just don't know how I am going to do without her.

At the end of the day, I already lost the dogs, it will be another blow to me to lose her as well. She doesnt stand to lose anything by being fired and losing her job. But I stand to lose a lot more without her.

She made some wrong decisions and was careless. She knows she is in the wrong and has been remorseful. If it's genuine human error, should she be forgiven?

Please tell me what to do!!!!
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3 comments:

Holly Jean said...

I think her reason for not calling makes sense. Plus she was probably petrified.

She did make the effort to look for the dogs herself.

And you did say that mini and monster do tend to want to dart out when the gates open.

I think her guilt is punishment enough for her. (i hope she's remorseful... she is, right?)

And she offered to buy new dog ( yes I know m & m are not replaceable).. but at least she had the right intentions there. And I'm sure to her that's a lot of money.

If you want to really punish her for her carelessness, let her pay for a new dog. It is afterall, fair.

When she has to pay fr her own mistakes, it'll teach her to be more careful next time.

Perhaps, later on ( a few months time) you can return the $ for the cost of the dog to her, if you feel bad abt making her pay. But at least by then, she would have learnt her lesson... plus she'll be grateful that she's been given a second chance.

I would not fire her. REMIND yourself of how shitty that last maid was... and how hard it is to find a good maid there (!).

But I would not trust her with Ray anytime soon. I'm sure she won't be as careless with a baby but just be on the safe side.


Hugs girl.

February 25, 2010 at 12:13 AM
Chubby Cheeks said...

From Karen:

Does it work in Vietnam to have lil posters abt the dogs? and maybe a lil reward for returning them?

There's no point pointing the finger at anyone now, but best to make sure she learned her lesson and will be more careful in the future because it may not be the dogs next time..you wouldnt want her to be careless while watching Ray etc. Just pray v hard that the dogs are in good hands. and perhaps when and if you are getting dogs in the future, consider the choice of dogs especiallly if they are to be housed outside the house and that they receive sufficient training ( like basic no and stay ) and that they are walked and exposed so you will not risk losing them twice and having your heart broken again.

I still hope a miracle happens and you will have them back.

Good Luck

February 25, 2010 at 11:07 AM
Chubby Cheeks said...

From Mom:

Have check with aunty Alice and she says why so careless, shd hv cage the dog when ppl drop in.
Anyway she said depend on the maid how good she is.

Nan think its not easy to get maid. She shd be scared stiff for losing yr dogs.

In my opinion if you think she is truly remorseful, and is really good and useful maid to you then keep her.
But warn her if she is not careful or careless esp when it comes to handling yr baby, shd she keep mumb if anything
shd happen to yr child, eg of a fall, it maybe too late, and it can become more serious if discover too late,
and it wont be just like losing a dog and she will definitely have to go for good.

Final decision is still yrs and T to make.

February 25, 2010 at 11:10 AM

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