The Rules of Life - Part Two

Relationship Rules

- Accept the differences, Embrace what you have in common

- Allow your partner the space to be themselves
What attracted you? What was special about them? What turned you on?

- Be nice
Take time to focus on their needs and wants. Take time to just be there for them, not to have to do anything except listen, show an interest, show you still love them. Don't allow benign neglect to ruin your relationship

- You want to do what?
The most successful relationships are the ones where the couple are strong together but also strong apart - where both are supportive of each other's interest even if they aren't their own

- Be the first to say sorry
Don't care who started it. Don't care what it was about. Don't care who is right and who is wrong.

- Go that extra step in trying to please them
Remember, this is someone you adore, worship, respect and have great affection for

- Always hve someone - or something - that is pleased to see you
Having someone or something who is pleased to see you is important because it gives you someone who needs you and this gives you a purpose, stops you getting self-absorbed, gives you a reason for getting on with life.

- Know when to listen and when to act

- Have a passion for your life together
Being together has to be a strong bond, a common sharing of experience, a dream-fulfilling romance that carries you both along. You have to make the effort. You have to share dreams, goals, ambitions and plans. You have to have a passion for being with each other.

This is your chance to have a really good strong relationship based on mutual trust, responsibility, shared happiness, drive and the pursuit of excellence.

- Make sure your love making is making love

- Keep talking
When we are going through bad patches, it is talking it out that will see us through. When we are optimistic and excited, it is talking that will help our partner share it.

- Respect privacy

- Check you both have the same shared goals
Goals are to have children (or not), to travel a lot, to retire early and live in Spain, to bringing up the children to be happy and well adjusted people, to stay together (!), to get a dog...

Goals are what you are doing together. Goals are shared aims that you need each other for.

- Treat your partner better than your best friend

- Contentment is a high aim
Intensity and excitement won't last. Contentment is what you hope for after the elation has worn off and you settle back into a relaxed and happy simplicity. A baseline contentment and warmth and love.

- You don't both have to have the same rules
The happiest relationship are where both parties see the need for flexibility in their rules.