As much as I really hope he comes soon, a part of me is feeling a little apprehensive. No more homies dinner for a while, no more waking or napping whenever I deem fit, no more peace and quiet. Hell, I doubt I'll even be able to read or finish a book for a long time to come. It's going to be a big step, a big change, a HUGE responsibility that I hope we can adapt.
I've had so much ideals about how I want to be a good pregger and an excellent mom but lately, I just don't know if I can keep up to my own expectations anymore. For starters, all the talk about how I will drink milk, eat fruits, exercise and be healthy for my baby has been BS - I haven't made much of an effort at all.
- Ice cream, Chocolate, Tea, Coke, mooncakes and plenty of ICE are more like what my poor baby's been subjected to.
As to being a strict mother who will raise a disciplined kid who does not scream, yell or make a mess... I can only keep my fingers crossed and hope for the best.
Note: I've seen all the kids around me and somehow I've come to this realisation that it's a near impossible task.
The current headache is trying to coordinate baby's arrival to the grandparents' schedule. Everyone is excited and wants to be here... but at the same time, they have their responsibilities back home and can't just hop on to the next available plane and fly here as soon as they receive a call from me (at the hospital). They need time to book tickets, plan their leave, reschedule appointments, arrange for someone to take care of the house/pets etc.
Because of all these, I was even in half a mind to do a scheduled C-section or induce the baby so that we can all coordinate and plan ahead. But after much thought and online surfing, it's not such a bright idea at all. The baby should come when he's ready. I outta be ashamed of myself!
Note: Another idealistic notion that I had before becoming preggers was to keep the baby inside for as long as he needs. I used to snicker at those who planned their C-section or induce their baby. Now I'm feeling so guilty that I am entertaining such thoughts myself - All I really want is for the baby to come out of me asap!.
Anyways, I'll be seeing the gynae again this Friday so I'll find out what he has to say... hopefully baby will be coming soon. I can almost feel it... and I've been channeling the Laws of Attraction (The Secret) for him to arrive some time next week. It might just work!
Otherwise, there's always the Diwali party on Saturday for me to dance and shake him out!
Wish me luck... tick tock... tick tock...
I printed a pic of myself for Karen to bring back to show Ah Ma. Apparently she was very tickled by it - said it looks like a big round ball. Love this pic!
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