Reality Check

For the first time in the last 9 months, I shed tears of sadness... thanks to my brother.
(I've been really positive throughout the whole pregnancy ... maybe the hormones played a part in making the tears flow)

The words were harsh (hence the hurt) but nevertheless I appreciate the directness. I can always count on my brother to give me a reality check and put me back in place.

Words such as "I dont feel like talking to you", "Not happy with you", "Can't stand your self centered-ness" "I never intended to come and visit you after the baby is born cause I just can't stand you" were thrown in my face.

To be fair, there is some truth in the things he said and being one to take criticism positively, it did wake me up a bit - like how I've been taking my family for granted, expecting them to help me get things whenever someone is coming up to visit etc. And I honestly suck at showing my appreciation except for the occasional tailoring of clothes, little souvenirs that I send back.

But some things were uncalled for -

1. I've asked my bro for some favors but most of the time I know he is busy with work so I never thought of troubling him. If my parents still expect him to drive around because he is the one with the family car, then you can't blame me entirely.

2. I did not and do not expect my family to come and take care of me. In fact, I only asked them to drop by to see their grandson which I am sure they would want to but never once did I expect them to do any work here for me. In fact, I am the one trying to convince them to not to stay for 1 month like they are planning to.

3. "its been all abt yr glamorous life n all yr excitement n big projects for yr baby" - I could very easily start a blog that goes "Unglamorous Life Of Genevieve" or the "Real Truth behind my life" and tell you how I spend all day every day alone at home - with the internet and phone call to Grandma as my only contact with the outside world. I could go on and on about my sad and lonely life where I spend 2 hrs a day at most with the husband who's too drained from work to do anything by the time he gets home - but I chose not to. Instead, my once a week night out and the baby becomes all the news and excitement. Because I choose to look at the positive aspects of my life rather than the negative.

4. Most importantly, I cant get anything here... I can't help it that a lot of the things I need I cant find here. Hence the favors. And if I can't turn to family to help ... then who can I turn to?

PS: I'm ok now... The truth always hurts but it's better than living in la-la land.