Questions like - am I doing the right thing? Is this what I really want? am I ready? Is he the ONE for me? Am I marrying because I feel I am getting old? or simply because I am in love with the idea of love and marriage? - keep popping into my mind in the midst of wedding excitement n planning.
Are these pre-wedding jitters or am I one of the few who 'sanely' reflect on the severity of the choice I am about to make, while driving myself insane with these endless questions?
Why do I always have a melanchonlic feel when I think back on my past 6-yr relationship? Is it 1. because I have not completely let go or 2.because it is a constant reminder that "forever love" does not exist?
1. I suppose a part of me has been holding on to the memories - the past that shaped my life and brought me to where I am today. While it's no longer the romantic love I feel for my ex, there is still love nonetheless - the type where u continue to love your parents, your siblings, your friends even when they hurt you or even when they are no longer a part of your world.
Which brings me to pt 2. "Forever love". Maybe I am being melodrama but imagine the apprehension of stepping into a "till death do us part" when I have witnessed a deep bond that was painstakingly built over the many years simply vanish into the clouds causing 2 people to become complete strangers overnight. DOES FOREVER REALLY EXIST?
All said, I have reflected on my reasons for marrying T
- I love him and he loves me
- He is caring, responsible, funny, charming, supportive, understanding
- He's generous to everyone around him
- and very filial and respectful of elders
- He's well loved by my family and friends and almost everyone that meets him likes him instantly
- I have never met a guy with a purer heart. He makes me want to become a better person.
- I can see a future with him - stability and security
- We share common values about life
- we have lived harmoniously in the last 3 yrs and have been able to talk things through very calmly during any disagreements, always listening to the other and reasoning sensibily (I never shared this with any guy before and it's almost enlightening).
- we place importance on the value of family
- there is a fair amount of give and take in the relationship
To answer my own question, I believe I am ready to commit to this special person. As to whether I am 100% sure, I dont think anyone can really be totally sure if their partner is really the one. The most we can do is to pray, hope and give our 100% into making the relationship/marriage work.
(You should not look for perfection elsewhere, rather, look for the perfection in your partner.)
No comments:
Post a Comment