My farewell gift to myself!
I can't begin to describe the feeling I've gone through in the past few weeks...
... sadness at having to leave the life I had behind... the friends I've made... the good lifestyle that I've become accustomed to ... the partying ... the food... living as an expat among foreigner friends...
... anger at the situation
... pain (this deep aching in my heart)
... disappointment at the way things turned out... after working so hard to build a family and make a "home" there
... sorrow and regret for Ray
... fear of what the future holds
... but at the same time... excited about starting anew
There are a lot of emotions stirred up within me... something that no one will really understand. Even I surprise myself - I guess there is no chance (or time!) to drown myself in sorrow seeing that I have to stay strong and positive for Ray.
(With this, I want to add that Korean Dramas have done a huge part in helping me escape from reality during those times when I felt really down).
I didn't get to say Goodbye to friends properly - because I prefer to keep things low key, avoid having to explain to the whole world why I had to leave and to be "away" (emotionally and physically) from everyone.
The maid is one of those that I will miss the most. She has become a part of my family. In fact, she was the only one "family" who was there for me day in day out, caring for us as if I was her daughter and Ray was her grandson.
- We cried together when I told her I was leaving and we were both fighting tears when we said goodbye.
Rachel and Levi will also be missed dearly by Ray and I ... and we are sad that we can't meet up everyday and watch the boys grow up together anymore. But I'm sure we will always stay in touch and we will see each other often enough (a trip to Singapore will be a good excuse whenever we want to get-together).
There are also the few close friends, restaurants and Saigon Square that I will really miss. Not to forget, the regular pampering (manis and pedis, eyelash and massage) that I will no longer be able to enjoy.
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And as I end the "Glamorous" part of my life (and close this blog with this final entry), I look forward to a new chapter with Ray and all my loved ones back home.
God is Good... That I know for sure and so I shall keep my faith and work towards a better future for Ray and I.
Thank you for following and sharing my life for the past 6 years.
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