I had no prior intention of leaving the baby but then T insisted he can take care of the baby for a night ... and frankly, "Heck! He's been having his share of going out and I deserve a break too!"
So I dressed up and went to the Bollywood Night that we girls had organised -although I wasnt really involved in this one except for designing the visuals (before I gave birth).
I felt transformed! It's been sooo long sinced I dressed up, wore heels (almost forgot how to balance) and went out without a tummy!
Of cos everyone was surprised and very happy to see me (even though many still went, "where's Tarek? U mean he's staying at home to take care of the baby? Is he coming out after when you go back?" WTFFFF right?!!!)
The party was another huge success... the club was packed and everyone had a great time!
It felt great to be out... Did I miss my baby? Of cos... although not as much as I thought I would. I only called home to check once in the 3 hrs that I was gone. I guess I just needed a breather.
Most of all, I felt great... everyone commented on how good I look "I can't believe u just had a baby!"
I know my brother is going to bitch about me bragging about my glam life again but hell, I dont give a damn! I look good... and I feel great! And I am proud of it!
How often does one feel good about herself during pregnancy and after giving birth - especially finally stepping out of the house after 1 month of stink, leaking boobs and lack of sleep.
T was nice to offer to take care of the baby - 3 hrs was "manageable". But I lost tears of frustration the next day when he wanted to go out again. Just because he took care of baby for 1 nite doesnt mean it's license for him to go out more. Are we going to have to keep taking turns to go out? Plus clubbing (with and without him) is not my cup of tea. At least, it's not something I want to do on a weekly basis while we 'take turns' to go out.
In my mind I was thinking, "you only did 3 hrs, try doing it for a month straight without stepping out of the house and tell me if you will go insane, feel like killing me or even have thoughts of abandoning the baby."
I know it's very unbecoming of a mother to say that.. or maybe mothers do say that but in private... but sometimes it is sooo frustrating, I feel like shouting, "I give up, I dun want to bear this responsibility anymore and to hell with breastfeeding, many children grew up on formula and they still did well in life!"
Then when I look at him... I forget the pains and tell myself it's all worth it! "Dear Little Ray Ray, you better love Mummy lots lots lots when you grow up!"
No comments:
Post a Comment