Tuesdays with Morrie - Mitch Albom

Another great book by Mitch Albom - Tuesdays with Morrie

The meaning of life - life's greatest lessons - taught to him by his old professor in the last months of his life.
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When all this started, I ask myself, 'Am I going to withdraw from the world, like most people do, or am I going to live?'

There are some mornings when I cry and cry and mourn for myself. Some mornings, I'm so angry and bitter. But it doesn't last too long. Then I get up and say 'I want to live...'

Sometimes in the morning, that's when I mourn. I give myself a good cry if I need it. But then I concentrate on all the good things still in my life. I don't allow myself any more self-pity than that. A little each morning, a few tears, that's all.

When I have people and friends here, I'm very up. The loving relationship maintains me.

Sometimes you cannot believe what you see, you have to believe what you feel. And if you are ever going to have other people trust you, you must feel that you can trust them too - even when you're in the dark

Learn to detach. You know what the Buddhists say? Don't cling to things, because everything is impermanent. Detachment doesn't mean you don't let the experience penetrate you. On the contrary, you let it penetrate you fully. THat's how you are able to leave it. By throwing yourself into these emotions, by allowing yourself to dive in, you experience them fully and completely. You know what pain is. You know what love is. You know what grief is. And only then can you say, 'all right. I have experienced that emotion. I recognise that emotion. Now I need to detach from that emotion for a moment.'

So many people walk around with a meaningless life. They seem half-asleep, even when they're busy doing things they think are important. This is because they are chasing the wrong things. The way you get meaning into your life is to devote yourself to loving others, devote yourself to your community around you, and devote yourself to creating something that gives you purpose and meaning.

Forget what the culture says. I have ignored the culture much of my life. I am not going to be ashamed. What's the big deal?

Embrace aging. As you grow, you learn more. If you stayed at twenty-two, you'd always be as ignorant as you were at twenty-two Aging is not just decay. It's growth. It's more than the negative that you're going to die, it's also the positive that you understand you're going to die, and that you live a better life because of it.

Do the kind of things that come from the heart. When you do, you won't be dissatisfied, you won't be envious, you won't be longing for somebody else's things. On the contrary, you'll be overwhelmed with what comes back.

Marriage. Almost everyone I knew had a problem with it. Some had problems getting into it, some had problems getting out. My generation seemed to struggle with the commitment. I had gotten used to attending weddings, congratulating the couple, and feeling only mild surprise when I saw the groom, a few years later sitting in a restaurant with a younger woman whom he introduced as a friend 'you know, i'm separated from so and so...'

In this culture, it's so important to find a loving relationship with someone because so much of the culture does not give you that. But the poor kids today, either are too selfish to take part in a real loving relationship, or they rush into marriage and then six months later, they get divorced. They don't know what they want in a partner. They don't know who they are themselves - so how can they know who they are marrying?

It's sad because a loved one is so important. You realise that, especially you're in a time like I am, when you are not doing so well. Friends are great, but friends are not going to be here at night when you are coughing and cant sleep and someone has to sit up all night with you, comfort you, try to be helpful.

There are a few rules I know to be true about love and marriage. If you don't respect the other person; if you don't know how to compromise; if you can't talk openly about what goes on between you; and if you don't have a common set of values in life, you're gonna have a lot of trouble. Your values must be alike... and the biggest one of those values... Your belief in the importance of your marriage. Marriage is a very important thing to do, and you're missing a hell of a lot if you don't try it.

It's not just other people we need to forgive. We need to forgive ourselves. For all the things we didn't do. All the things we should have done. You can't get stuck on the regrets of what should have happened.