I miss the old ME!
And so... my birthday present to myself this year... is the decision to hire a nanny for Rayhan... AT LAST (although WHEN I will actually get one is still subjective).
I realised that I've changed a lot ... some for the better... and some for the worst. I'm mentally and physically drained, causing me to be constantly frustrated and bitter, and have had several mild breakdowns ... Plus it's affecting my relationship/marriage with Tarek as well. I don't even have time to unwind, much less for T.
It is the best gift for myself... for my sanity, if not for anything else.
Of cos having a nanny doesnt mean I am going to spend any less time with Rayhan. I'd just have time for myself, to take a proper bath, shit, sit down and be able to run out or sleep in whenever I want to!
PS: I've mastered the art of cutting my shit halfway and continuing it hours later... On several occasions, I even had to run out with shit still on my ass n fingers ... TMI (too much info!)...I have to time my toilet trips for when he naps but somehow he seems to enjoy tormenting me...
Cheers to the Thirties!
PS: I'm still trying to hold back ... at least till Ray hits 1 year.. so that when he celebrates his first birthday, I'll also celebrate 365 days of RayRay-hood - of being the ONE who fed, bathed, played, taught, laughed, cried and slept with him every moment of his first year.
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